There are always two sides to every conversation

But one is usually much better…


Emily, baby; I love you. You know that. I mean, how long have we known one another? What? Seven? Eight years???

No? alright, fine well then close to that anyway, and what’s even better yet is that I do not find you attractive at ALL. I mean, really; not in the least. I mean that in a good way…. Yeah, I know you know. I mean… no just listen, I know, and realize, that you are indeed a very attractive girl, well, woman, girl-woman; woman who looks like a girl still, but you get what I’m saying…. You’re just giving me shit now aren’t you?

Emily, baby, you balance me. Fire and earth. I’m a Sagittarius and you’re a Capricorn. I prime you and you keep me in check. You just balance me out and; about that whole ‘thing‘… Nonononoooo - I’m not judging - it’s just that I don’t want to see you be reborn as a cockroach or a maggot or anything vile in your next life… No, it’s not going to be the most fun you’ll never know you’ll ever have… Well because I just know; alright? ?? Fuck, Emily, can you just be a rational Capricorn for once in your life here…. OK, well if you insist on that type of cockeyed logic… oh Haha, I said ‘cock’…. Suppose that if it were better than a human, then why would that come so much way later? … Well yes, I suppose sinning is fun… You’re such a Goddamn Catholic… Alright, yeah, I guess you WOULD know about that better than I would….

But you’re such an old soul- wait, sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry…. I know, I know you fucking hate that. But honestly, I HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT YOU are ENLIGHTENED to quite an impressive degree…

Yes, I’m sure that a lot of guys have tried to get into your pants with that one….

Yes, I mean, no, I’m not surprised that it was a slurred speech either…

Well, I’m sure that you do have very pretty eyes too. I mean, I only say that when… Yeah, I get your point now… Y’know, now that you mention it all eyes are pretty…

Of course, unless they’re in a jar…

What the fuck Emily? … Wait… Did I actually just hear you s ay that? No, hold on… That’s actually very true. You’re right. I’d imagine that does effect their beauty, the location or distance from the actual face or eye socket. Jesus Christ Emily, how the fuck do you even think of shit like that? …

Speaking of which, I wanna do another show with you…. It’ll be better than the last one…. No, I promise I wont throw phones at you again…. Maybe a clip board or a script… You probably won’t have to smoke crack in it either…. I’m still deciding on a few scenes…. Is it that big of a deal? … Really? …

You’re silly… What about you going topless on stage this time around?… Please…Alright, we’ll just discuss this aspect later then… Well, because you might change your mind…. Emily baby, c’mon… You don’t know that… Fine… Well, alright then, what about for the photo shoot? … Still no? … C’mon, work with me here… No, I, I don’t want to see your tits, but somebody else might…

….


….


OK, alright…FINE…. What? The entire wardrobe? Mayyyyybeeee… I’ll consider it. Oh, and by the way, I love, love LOVE that Falco video - which reminds me, have you ever heard of ‘beheading the red dragon’?


Click.