unless its a limerick, dont wast my goddamn time

a little while ago i finally found somebody who shares this almost complete hatred of poetry that i do. im sorry, i just find it to be incredibly pretentious, and well... a lot of it sucks. it just does. we were joking about bad poetry and i finally found a few that i had toyed around with a long time ago to prove my point. i rarely write poetry and on the blue moon that i do, it is simply to prove a cringe worthy point: that while im making you sit through this shit, (aside from a very select few of you) this is how i feel and felt all through school when we had the poetry segment in class.


RECESS

No

You cant play

No

Not with us

Because

Youre

…not in the club

Well youre not anymore

No

That was yesterday

Besides, we made a mistake

Sorry

You wouldn't want to play with us

Anyway

Because we run a lot

…and youre fat

Well you are, its true

Youre lying if you say youre not

And we don't like liars

-they aren't allowed in the club

Youre not my best friend anymore

I guess you should find a new table

P.S.

Im not coming to your birthday party





CONVERSATION ON THE WAY HOME WITH A HOT FRIEND ON THE WAY TO HIS APT ABOVE A GRAGE FOR A ONE NIGHT STAND

Lets get married

Just ask me

Ask me to marry you

Im drunk

Ill say yes

don't worry

We'd have cute kids

You and I

Between the two of us

They'd probably

be normal height

Im your fall back

And I can count on you

To be mine

When youre drunk

And lonely

C'mon

It makes sense

Like it should have happened years ago

Everyone will say:

'Oh, I saw that one coming'

Lets get married

I'd make a good ex wife



TO THE OBNOXIOUS LOVERS IN THE CORNER…WITH LOVE

Just stop

Please

I get the point

Youre blissfully happy

Together

And

Probably

With yourselves

For that matter

you've made it quite clear

Tho the entire room

By now

I speak for the group

When I say

Congratulations

Were happy for you

Actually

No

Not really

Not at all

I need to vomit

And maybe I am

Just a little bit

Bitter

But I know that as well

Fuck you ~ go get a room



TO THAT PRETTY BITCH… WITH LOVE

Whats it like?

To look like you

To have so much confidence

And to be so good at what you do?

How do you do it?

Ive never been thin

You cant loose

And I just cant win

Standing next to you

I just don't compare

You have everyone talking

While all the men stare

Whats your secret?

Youre never alone

You beat them off with sticks

While I just wait by the phone



I FEEL LIKE IVE BEEN TAG TEAMED BY THE MARIO BROS.

So when did you forget?

All of those little promises that you made

Is it still too late now

For that little dream to be saved

'Double crossed the line

When did we stop or start having fun

Even if you two are together

I might not come undone

It takes a lot out of you

If I look happy, its because im working under cover

I feel so used up

Like ive been tag teamed…

… by the Mario brothers

1 up…

…mother-fucker